Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Faking It

A couple of weekends ago, I was at a wedding and engaged in conversation with many different women.  Some I knew, others were fresh faces to me, but we all seemed to have one thing in common.  We like to look beautiful.  Every girl does.  We spend many hours making sure that our darling little selves warrant a "beautiful".  Heaven forbid we get graced with a "you're so cute" compliment.  Note to men:  Women like to be be beautiful...not cute. (Please tell me that you already knew that.  I don't even have to ask, right?  You know that by now.  I have all the confidence in the world that you do.)  Although on some days, I am sure we would take any positive feedback that we can get, and so "cute" might not get you in trouble on the off chance that we are having an off day.  But who wants to chance it?  ANYWAYS, getting back to this particular event...I quickly became shocked at the conversation as I did not realize that so many women are faking it!!!!  YES.  FAKING IT.  They are faking their hair by gluing on extensions, they are faking their make up by tattooing it on their already pretty little faces, they are faking shhhhh body parts (did you know that some women enhance the size of their mammillas using plasticy impostors???  Ha!  Who knew??), and they are even faking their eyelashes!!  Eyelashes???  I had no idea!!  Oh!  And I almost forgot!  Some women are even wearing girdles.  I thought we did away with those breathless torture tricks in the 20's when Poiret discouraged women from being bound?  No wonder why everyone is walking around looking so much more beautiful than me!  I am wonderfied by all this madness!  Far be it for me to judge...I can't exactly blame anyone who wants to make self improvements.  I have considered doing this or that.  This or that being a secret.  But, there are downsides to almost all of them.  Hair extensions could never be my thing.  You see, those women are missing out on something wonderful and amazing.  A man running his fingers through her clean, untangled, glue, clip, or weave free hair!!  Ahhhh...I could never give up that loving gesture that makes me melt and fall apart into a helpless state of euphoria.  No thank you.  Then there is the surgically enhanced bust line.  Don't ask me how or where I got this information, but did you know that you can't work out for six weeks after????  I don't think I could do that.  Well, maybe I could... Tattooing make up???  I would do it if I got a call back from Survivor, since there is no way I could be on TV with no eyeliner.  But, the eyelash extensions I could do without since I have been abundantly blessed with them.

I honestly do not have a problem with faking it.  I think whatever makes you feel better about yourself and enhances your state of happiness is just fine with me.  I am not one of those woman who turns up my nose at someone who does any of these things.  My only concern is for our younger generation of girls, who look through the magazines and are tricked by the tainted images that they see.  They do not have the wisdom that we do.  The knowledge that those women are enhanced by all of these things as well as the super-technology that creates an even more illusionary vision.  I am saddened by these young girls turning to extreme methods to try and measure up to the lies they see portrayed on those pages.  As a mother of a teenage girl, I am often finding myself in conversation with her, building her up and encouraging her to not focus on the silly, superficial things.  Beauty truly is only skin deep.  It does not define you.  Your character defines you.  Your thoughts become you.  When you focus too much on yourself, you lose that radiating glow that everyone recognizes as something different.  Something beautifully different.  That, my dears, is something that you can not fabricate.  Try as some women do to fake it just long enough to get the guy, or get the job, eventually when the dust settles, it settles in her fine lines for everyone to see.  I say, take time for yourself, but do not indulge in yourself.  At least that is how I am teaching my daughters.  I want to raise real women.  Women who radiate kindness and grace through their actions and ability to treat others.  Women who encourage peace and show mercy to the trodden down and heavy hearted souls of the world.  Women who stand up for what is right, even when it is not well received.  A beautiful woman is one who does not need to fake being real.  She just is.


  1. I loved that! It could not have been said any better!

  2. I was very impressed with the SKII Facial Treatment Essence (www.geocities.jp/hongkong_skii/index_e.htm), enough so that I have continued to use the product daily as part of my skin care routine after the test period. It's a luxury purchase to be sure, but this is one of the best products that can really make a significant difference in your skin, and so worth every penny.

    I applied the treatment each morning and evening after cleansing my skin and before moisturizer/primer and then makeup. Within just a few days I could see that my skin was much more supple and smooth - particularly in the t-zone. After about two weeks, I loved the beautiful glow my skin had - even without makeup.

  3. Makeup is faking it, is it not? Isn't a hair extension just like rolling ink and mud on your face? Hair extensions can be removed, and so can makeup.

  4. Hey Steph, I have been trying to click into your chocolate pudding recipe but it just goes blank and nothing comes up. Just thought I would let you know because I would love to get the recipe:) Thank you!

  5. I think you missed the point, anonymouse. And the humor behind it. I could care less about all of that. Faking the "beauty within" is what I was talking about. PS- Ink and mud is a far cry from a thin veil of makeup, which other than all the strippers, transvestites, and the occasional clown or two that I surround myself with, is what most women I know wear. Not quite the same but good effort in trying to make a silly point

  6. "Trying" to make a "Silly point"?? I was just adding some perspective to the topic. I never suggested that you were wrong. Didn't you just get through blogging about people making mean comments? And I didn't miss the point, it was your post that said that women were faking it by enhancing their physical appearance. My point was, that's exactly what makeup does--enhances what would otherwise be a natural appearance. Hair extensions, bras, girdles all do the same. I think where it gets more extreme is when someone goes under the knife.

  7. GASP!! You deleted my post? But it wasn't mean at all? I was just curious as to why you would tell me I was trying to make a silly point. Kinda mean. Didn't you just say this: "But on occasion that I do[say something mean], I am sure to apologize and make amends." Well, you didn't apologize, you just deleted my very diplomatic post.

  8. Dear anonymouse,

    Your "diplomatic" post was not deleted. It remains where it was posted just a few mere comments above.

    With regard to your question about calling your post silly, I stand by my words. The comment was, in fact, silly as it failed to recognize the true point of the blog post, which is that it is the inner beauty that matters, not the primping, preening, and enhancements that many (mostly women) participate in - this silly girl included! Furthermore, in my world, being called silly is not necessarily an insult. Request for apology denied. It was silly of you to ask.

  9. "Trying" to make a "silly point." I "failed" to recognize the true point. All I was doing was trying to add perspective to the topic and I am met with not very nice comments. Well, it was you who titled the post "Faking it" and spoke at length about how women are faking it by having hair extensions, eyelash extensions, girdles etc... My point was simple: makeup is a way of enhancing what would otherwise be a woman's natural appearance. That's no different than wearing a bra, girdle, hair extension right? I think where it starts to get extreme is when a knife is involved.
    Oh, and I did post another post that showed up, but then was mysteriously deleted. But its ok. I never asked for an apology. Just looking for some honest dialogue. Or do you not want that here? Because I can nod in the affirmative and agree with everything.

  10. My goodness there are some testy people who read your blog Stephanie! Glad to see you are still lighting a fire under people's bottoms, hahaha. Now we just need to get these anonymouse's to have enough self esteem to put their name on a post, to TRULY stand by what they say! ;) I love you!

  11. oh p.s. love this


    and this


    and this!


    this is a topic we have been discussing in my english class-FAKING it is a huge problem for women in our culture!